Where the HECK...

...Have I BEEN??

Here I am again, writing a blog entry explaining just where the heck I've been. Sadly to say, this time some pretty major things happened with the family.

August turned out to be one of the most busy and stressful months of my existence. It started out okay. I had three weeks before school started so I figured hmmm, I'll take these last three weeks and just write the hell outta my book. I'll sit by the pool with my cousins. I'll take long naps after work and just do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it.

Hah! That's exactly what life said to me. IN YOUR DREAMS!!!

My grandmother (who I lived next door to for a couple of years) had been a 5 year patient with COPD. Sadly, she lost that battle on August 27, 2010. She had been going downhill since April of 2009, when her husband of 51 years and my grandfather passed away. Her health really took a turn on August 17th when she asked to go to the hospital (which NEVER happens) so we knew something was definitely wrong.

Everyday after work I'd go up to the hospital and see her and my aunt until later at night when I forced myself to leave to get some form of rest before work the next morning. I was glad when the doctors said she could go home, even though that didn't necessarily mean she was "ok." They suggested Hospice to us and we looked into it and finally decided that was probably best. For the next few days at home, she seemed to be doing just fine. She was coherent, talkative, HUNGRY (which was new), and in somewhat good spirits. Things seemed to be getting back to as normal as they could have been.

And then randomly, about three days after she had been home, I come home and see that she is no longer conscious and alert. Her breathing was much more shallow and she just seemed to be gone, aside from her breathing and heart beat. Her health turned that quickly. The hospice nurse gave us a book to read, "Gone from My Sight" that laid out the stages of death. She informed us that we were in the "hours to days" stage with Mema.

She lingered about four days in that stage. We weren't sure what she was waiting on. I missed several days of work and finally decided it was probably best to go back. Nothing was changing and we honestly didn't know when the day would come that she would be reunited back with Pepa and Jesus. Friday morning, about 8:30, I got a call at work from my father letting me know she was gone. When the phone rang I just KNEW that it was a call about her.

Of course, we all knew her death was coming, but regardless of how well prepared we seemed to be, it still hurt so badly. That entire weekend is a blur to me, and thanks to my family coming together, we coped with it pretty well. That Monday after the funeral when everyone left is when it hit me the hardest.

My routine took an abrupt change. Every night I'd go next door and have supper with her. Now that is no longer the case. There is a huge gaping hole in my life where Mema once was. Now I'm going to have to find a way to fill that void before it drives me completely insane. I find a lot of comfort in knowing that she is up in heaven with Pepa, doing what she wants. Thinking about that as well as the wonderful memories made with them, it helps, but it's going to take me awhile to get over not seeing her everyday.

I'm also starting a new job tomorrow. It's a whole new schedule and I'll more than likely not be home much. I have class as well, so keeping myself busy is the only way I can think to help myself right now. It's those idle moments at home alone where I allow my mind to think too much about things. When I let my mind run wild, it can become dangerous.

My Book Is Published!

My book went live on Amazon tonight! Here is the link if anyone would like to sample it out or even buy it! It's only $2.99!

http://www.amazon.com/Modern-Day-Drifter-ebook/dp/B003WJRHI4/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1279677417&sr=8-4

I would say more, but right now I'm dead where I sit! Everyone have a great evening! Thanks in advance to those who check it out! :)

Hello....hello....hello....

Long time no see, fellow bloggers!

My sister's wedding is now over and done with, and might I say, it was very classy and well done! On a side note, I'm glad it was a success and in the past! That's pretty much why I've been MIA for awhile. Jeez (looks at last blog update) JUNE?? Where does the time go? And to think, I have a little over a month left of freedom before school starts again! (deep sigh)

But hey, I got a huge goal accomplished tonight! I published my book, Modern Day Drifter, that has been sitting around collecting dust for months. I published it as an E-Book, meaning that you can download it onto your kindle, e-reader, computer, cell phone, whatever you got, as long as you have the kindle app, which is FREE, I might add!

My book is in review stage right now on amazon.com, but once it becomes live I will post a link for everyone who is interested! I'm going to sell it for $2.99. Ah, the joys of E-publishing... things are so cheap!!

I hope everyone is doing well! I hope to hear from ya soon and let me know how you are!! :)

Here is the cover of my book that will soon be available for purchase on Amazon.com and possibly a few other E-book sites...

Soundtrack To Your Life

I've been browsing through a lot of music recently and got to thinking about soundtracks to movies/TV. It brought up a question.... What would be the soundtrack to your life? What songs would be included that can sum up past events as well as things in the present?

It's so hard to just think up a few songs, especially one specific one that could include everything. A few that come to mind instantly are:

1. The Dance - Garth Brooks
2. The Outsiders - Needtobreathe
3. Battlefield - Jordin Sparks
4. Life Ain't Always Beautiful - Gary Allan
5. Someday - Pete Yorn
6. Let It Be - Beatles
7. High Cotton - Alabama
8. Devil Town - Tony Lucca
9. Modern Day Drifter - Dierks Bentley
10. Respect the Wind - Van Halen
11. That Girl is a Cowboy - Garth Brooks
12. She's Like Texas - Josh Abbott Band


Those are just a few I can think up at the moment. If I kept at this, I'd have a crazy list of songs that went on and on. These songs I have just found myself able to relate to. A lot mark chapters in my life that have passed or I am currently enduring. I think everyone can relate to the song, "The Dance".

So I ask, what do you think would be the soundtrack to your life?

Someone For Everyone

Do y'all think there is someone out there for everyone? Is it true that there is that one special person for each of us?

....I used to think so.

Without being too negative, I have my doubts now. I have heard several people I work with talking about this very subject. One girl was saying how she believes we all have a soul mate. All I could think was, easy for her to say. She's married. She's done with the search. Then she went on to say how her mom told her that it's likely that many people don't. Many people are designed to be alone forever. The law and physics of the earth don't measure up to every single person having a match up. After all, statistically, there are more women on the earth than men.

As a Christian woman, I need to keep the faith that God has a plan that HE knows will work for me. HE knows what's right for me, even if I feel it's wrong. If his plan for me is to never get married and have a family, who am I to judge it? It just hurts. I want to be a wife and mother over anything else. To hell with the college degree. To hell with people saying "I sure am jealous of your freedom." or "You're smart for not being married." "Good job in staying single." "You don't need man drama like everyone else." Who are those people to say that to me? It is a painful sting.

Dating is scary. In fact, dating has changed so much. All of the men I talk to don't want things labeled as a "relationship." They don't want commitment. They want the benefits in a relationship without being tied down. Let's just say, I've "dated" a long line of men who were worthless and a complete waste of my time. I've been cheated on, lied to, this that and the other... so my trust issue isn't good right now either.

They say that love finds you at the most random time when you aren't even expecting it. We'll see.

Sorry for the rant, it's just something that's been bugging me.

One of Many...

So, if you don't already know this about me, one of my many passions is the TV show Friday Night Lights. I have been watching the show since its first season, and follow it religiously to this day. It is currently in the process of filming it's 5th season! Sadly, it'll probably be its last, but hey, critics weren't giving it a chance after the first season. Better to end on a high note than get cancelled. :) Not only do I watch, but am also a background extra. :) It's been a great experience taking part in a show from that aspect.

Anyway, for my blog tonight, I'm going to post up a couple of videos for those who would like to have a small preview about it. The first video is one that I made and compiled yesterday.

The Outsiders @ Yahoo! Video

The second video was made by a good friend of mine, and fellow blogger, http://mmcdonald64.blogspot.com/. It shows the beginnings of a problem with Coach Taylor and how it escalates into a fight with his wife, later to be resolved like they always do.

Eric and Tami fight @ Yahoo! Video

The acting is dynamic and the storylines aren't just about football. They are about life, love, and everything in between. Even non-football fans would appreciate it! :)

Some Things You Might Not Know....

I was reading a magazine today with a top 20 list of things people might not know about the featured actor/actress. It gave me an idea to post a few things that are random or unknown about me.....

1. I started writing stories around age 8. It was Fanfiction for the TV show, Homicide: Life On The Street. I haven't stopped since.

2. I almost constantly have music going, except when I'm sleeping.

3. I have to have it completely quiet to sleep.

4. I have to have it completely dark to sleep.

5. I have been on the set of two TV shows, Third Watch in New York and Friday Night Lights in Austin.

6. I have met a handful of actors, including an actor I have followed and admired since the early 1990's.... That one of course being Kyle Chandler. The others are Ethan Hawke, Josh Stewart, Bobby Cannavale, Skipp Sudduth, and Coby Bell. The last four were on the show Third Watch, not to mention most of the actors on FNL as well. I also know the Executive Producer of Third Watch. He is currently the producer of Criminal Minds. His name is Edward Allen Bernero.

7. I am an amateur storm chaser and want to keep it a hobby, rather than a job.

8. I have been to New York 4 times, Los Angeles once, and Chicago once. New York wins, hands down, but Chicago is a close second.

9. I will never live anywhere other than Texas.

10. I am a die hard Texas Rangers fan.

11. Baseball is the only pro sport I enjoy.

12. My favorite baseball player is Josh Hamilton.

13. My favorite collegiate team is the Texas Tech Red Raiders.

14. I have changed my major three times.

15. I have 7 piercings in my ears.

16. My first funeral was at the age of 23.

17. I am an adrenaline junkie. I will ride pretty much any roller coaster out there.

18. I feel guilty if I take too much leisurely time for myself.

19. My family comes first before ANYTHING...and I mean anything. I don't even take phone calls when I'm around my family.

20. I don't like talking on the phone.

The More Things Change...

...The More They Stay The Same...

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. As I have blogged many times before, it was finals week. That was tough in itself, but it is now over and I'm done with South Plains College.

In the midst of the fun and happiness, there was also some sadness too. A cousin of mine passed away on Wednesday. He had been in the hospital for a little over the month with pneumonia. When he was younger he was a miracle baby. He was born with heart problems and overcame that. He was 32 with a three year old son. The funeral was Friday, the day of graduation so as I said, lots of roller coaster emotions going on that day.

Friday evening we had a graduation party with my parents, my sister and her boyfriend's family. It was very nice and I am blessed to have such great people in my life. :) Barbecue and cake -- you know I'm gonna love that! :)

When I got home I passed out and slept extremely late. I could have slept longer but I forced myself to get up. This weekend is just going to be a time to relax and catch up on rest. Still, for some reason, two days off just doesn't seem like enough time to recover from 5 days of chaos!

Everyone have a great Sunday!

Respect the Wind

Today is the 40 year anniversary of the F5 tornado that hit downtown Lubbock, TX. May 11, 1970. My mom was just nine years old. Her neighborhood was flattened by the massive cyclone that ripped through the heart of the city. Lubbock also has the tallest sky scraper to survive an F5 tornado. Sadly, it was a night storm and there are no known photographs of the monster that barreled through the Hub City. In honor of the anniversary, I decided to blog about storms and weather today. Most of the pictures I'm including are ones that I have taken personally of storm chases I have been on. Some are by friends. The picture to the left is a perfect diagram of the layout of a tornadic supercell. Note in the front the rain wall, followed by the white of the hail shaft. Ever hear that quote, "calm before the storm?" See the gap after the hail shaft? That's when everything gets quiet and still, right before the tornado hits. In this particular picture, the tornado isn't fully developed, and is just a funnel. Still not to be taken lightly.

The picture above is called a "scud cloud." This is also tornadic. It's the storm's attempt to suck in all moisture as it begins it's rotation, right before a funnel is formed.

This is a more pronounced scud cloud with a rain band in front of it.

This picture shows the rotation as the wall cloud is trying to brew up a funnel. If you look closely you can see dirt being sucked up from the field. This is the wall cloud's attempt to suck in as much moisture from the east and dry air from the west to gain strength. Or as Dusty in Twister calls it.... "The suck zone." There was a time during this particular storm where it literally felt like the camera was going to be ripped from my hands. That was a sign to move on up the road out of the path.

This is a tornado that hit Tulia, TX on April 21, 2007. Tulia is about an hour north of Lubbock.

Storm season is probably my favorite time of the year. Right now, in 2010, we haven't had an official severe outbreak here in Texas. We've had several lines of storms with the potential. With El Nino still in place, the only thing we're going to get is rain. Supposedly it is burning off though, and we're slated to have a late storm season at the end of May and beginning of June. We might not have much of one this season. Oklahoma and Kansas had a high risk day yesterday. The last storm report I checked, there were 25 confirmed tornadoes across Central Oklahoma and Southern Kansas. One tornado hit North Oklahoma City during rush hour.

The farthest chase I've been on was up into Kansas. We went as far north as I-70 and it was well worth the sleep deprivation we endured. It was a moderate risk day which isn't a guarantee we'd see something, but the chances were greater than not. It is a fun adrenaline rush and a great experience, but I would never chase if I didn't know what I was doing. I'm also not a fan of night chases. I've studied extensively and I chase with a friend who knows more about the weather than I do. He's a Geo-sciences major and soon to be meteorologist.

Respect the wind -- It can be cruel!


This is a good video full of nice storm footage. Not done by me.

Go All The Way

First off, big shout out to all the beautiful Mama's out there! I hope you all had a great day!

It's been a busy couple of days on the home front, big shocker there right? This time, it's filled with stuff I've actually wanted to do. (Mostly) Thankfully, I got two finals knocked out of the way on Thursday. That leaves four more to go. (wipes brow) Two of them won't be so bad. I've got one at 8AM on Tuesday. It's my basketball/volleyball class and will literally only take me around 10 minutes to do. After that, I'm done for the day and am free to do what I want. On Thursday I have one at 9AM that should take me only slightly longer to complete. It's my track class. It is a bit more challenging... the teacher asks very specific questions, but shouldn't be too bad. The other two are online and have to be completed by Wednesday. I'm not too worried about them either.

In the voice of Kyle Chandler aka Coach Taylor....

"Right here, right now, God has placed you to do what you do best. Go all the way."

It's my last finals week at South Plains College...FOREVER!!! No more 30 minute drives to Levelland. Graduation is on Friday.

Mother's day was a big success as well. We had family come over to my Mema's house. As always, there was a wide variety of food. Pork, beef roast, and fried chicken. Let's just say I'm feeling like a tick that's about ready to pop. It was really nice for all of us to get together again and hang out. I'm truly blessed to have such a wonderful family. They always come first! :)

Tomorrow it's back down to business. One more week of school and it's time for a much needed break and back to working full time. I need those full paychecks again!

Hope everyone's week goes smoothly!