Query Quibbles

Last night I stayed up late and finished editing my first novel. (Deep sigh) I need a fresh pair of eyes to do a full read over of it. I've only read it about a million times, and to me, it's stale and boring. I'm seriously hoping that it is only because I know exactly what happens and I know the contents like the back of my hand. If I have a fresh pair of eyes who are willing to go in and read it like it is an "official" novel, maybe that opinion will be different.

With the finished editing comes the time to start submitting query letters to agents. (double deep sigh) Writing a query letter is HARD. After I finished my edits I attempted my first draft for my letter. It took me over an hour to get around 250 words written. And today I re-edited the whole thing to something totally different. Writing is a forever changing process, especially for a girl who changes her mind about six thousand times a day.

I did a search of several different agents on a few literary agent sites this evening. I composed the ones that seemed to fit the criteria of my book in a list. This is probably one of the most nerve racking things I have ever done in my entire life. It's a catch 22. I spent well over a year preparing this manuscript. I've edited, re edited, rewrote, snipped, tore apart, screamed at, you name it to get it ready. In all of that mixed emotion, I had a lot of fun. Here's the catch -- An author spends all of that time polishing their work and then the agent search begins. Why is it that I'm shying away and putting it on the back burner after all of that hard work?

Could it be the fear of rejection? Yes. In the book, Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul, it mentions that getting an agent is a long line of rejections followed by one shining moment when you finally get the acceptance letter. The hard part is if you have a strong enough backbone in between rejection letters. I'm scared that I don't have thick enough skin to take it. I'm definitely going to find out. If I give up now, before even trying, that year of writing, while was fun for me, is for nothing.

Another fear is that my manuscript won't peak an agent's attention, and I'll be forced to put it in a drawer, never allowing it to see the light of day again. Since it is my first manuscript, the chances of that happening are immense. We all have to start somewhere, though.

I'm not going to submit anything tonight. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to sit down and take another long look over the list I composed of probable agents to submit to. Ready or not, I've gotta give it a try!